Monday, March 03, 2008

Light a Candle for Me...

Well Internet... This nut has cracked. I am servin' myself up to you as a big hot plate of crazy. I am still sick. And when I say sick I mean it. Again I will treat you to an illustrative visual of what is happening inside my body...




See all those guys? They are having a week long party at my expense. Tonight I dive headlong in to night number six. Another sleepless, disgusting night writhing in agony!! Make tea! Drink it! Go blind from the taste of yet another damned Ricola cough drop in your mouth! Try! To go! To sleep! You CAN'T!!! What is that buzzing in my chest? It feels like fat furry mice are crawling in my throat! Ahhhhhhh.... these are great times.

Last night I tried to sleep in the bath tub. It seemed like it could potentially be the answer. It wasn't though. I just laid in the cold empty tub wrapped in my robe talking to myself for about 25 minutes. And then I moved back out on to the floor. Whatever passes the time. I always seem to be able to finally pass out around 5 or 6 A.M. It's 9 P.M. right now so if history holds true I will be hitting the sack in about 9 hours. That's cool. More time to enjoy coughing and hacking and general delirium in the night!

OK... I just wanted to give you an update. Thanks to anyone who cares. Thanks to anyone who has been here where I am now in this state of being. If you have been here and made it through to the other side I love you and you are my hero. Please send me an autographed photo of yourself and instructions on how to slay the goblin king. I seem to be stuck on level 5.

8 comments:

Desperate Middle Aged Man said...

I care. You sound ill. I have no photograph to send as I myself am stuck on Level 4 - the bit where you figure out how to open the doors to the Dwarf Iron vault.

Get better soon B.

Michelle said...

I have a cold but will not complain to anyone because it's not cramping my style in the way that scary muppets are jacking with yours...
Get better!

jani said...

Hi Bethany, so sorry you are feeling ill for so long! Have you seen a doctor? (spoken like a true mom,but,I am, and maybe it's time.) You might need an antibiotic,or maybe you have strep. To get some sleep, try valerian,melatonin,or sleepy time tea,or theres a pill called 'Calms Forte' thats pretty good.
hope you feel better soon,
:-) jani

pat said...

sorry you feel so bad, but you havn't lost your sense of humor!...very funny! get well soon..

Groover said...

Get better soon, hey. I am sending some sunshine and warmth from downunder.

My mum always says: A cold takes seven days without medication. With medication it takes a week. :-)

Happy days!

Anonymous said...

Hey Bethany-
I know exactly how you feel and what you have..."medically speaking", its the Santa Fe Crud...got it in January visiting friends there. In fact, we all got it and brought it back to all areas of Tx...takes four weeks to get over, but we all (after many dr. visits) that cipro seems to help. Love Santa Fe in the winter;"snow on the ground, no tourists around"...but not sure it was worth this!

Pam

Suzanne said...

Honey, I don't know how to tell you to get through it. One day, you just come out on the other side and the rest is a bad memory. It's horrible. When I read about you not being able to sleep, I was there. I don't think I slept for 4 days or more. How could I? Between the pain and the hacking, how would that have been possible? The only thing that made me buck up and stop feeling sorry for myself was imagining a child, baby or and elderly person suffering though the same thing. I knew I stood a good chance of survival, but wasn't sure about them.

Love you and hang in there. Trust me, you will come out the other side.

XO

David said...

Poor kid.......and with the High Holy Days of St. Patrick upon us. If all else has failed, why not burn a sacrifice to Lugh, or the god or goddess of your choice. You might follow with smudging your house with sage, and inviting an Indian shaman over to preform rights of exorcism. Sand drawings or something. If that fails, you might resort to Dr. Dave's Elixir of Life; two shots of Jameson's, the juice of 1/2 lemon, 1 tbs. honey, and 8 oz of water hot from the kettle. Two of those and you WILL sleep, and oddly whiskey (that's Irish of "water of life")will settle your stomach.