Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Eye of the Tiger and Other Stories

Today had it's high points and low points. We started off on a good foot going to a new French bakery down the street for breakfast. It was very cute and the food was good. I had a bowl of coffee. Yes... a bowl. Like a cereal bowl shaped bowl full up with java. It was right up my alley although I am not a huge fan of French roast coffees. We both ordered an egg and cheese croissant and we split a Nutella crepe on the side. It was all very indulgent. I forgot to bring the camera or I would have posted pictures of the grub. You will just have to imagine how delicious it all looked.

Upon returning home with a belly full of yum I had to ready Rudy and I for a trip to the vet. Rudy had developed a weird squeezy looking red eye over the last day or so and we wanted to get it taken care of before it got any worse. We think the eye may have been injured during a recent tiger fight. The tiger has been quarantined until everyone is well again. Anyway, the vet is only about two blocks away so we just walked there. All went well through the eye exam. The doc said it was a pretty common and simple type of eye irritation and gave me some medicine to clear it up over the course of a week. Then came the Q & A session. I had several dog ownership questions I wanted answered so I fired away. The most important news is that Rudy is not fat. For some reason we had made up our minds of late that he was a regular old apple dumplin'. So he is in the clear for now and can continue to eat cake and ice cream with a side of bacon all day every day until the vet says otherwise. I am now leading into the horrible thing. Get ready. I mentioned that it had proven impossible for us to trim Rudy's nails, like ever. The vet offered to do it for me right then and there. I said... "You go right ahead and try." Rudy turns in to a crackhead tyrannosaurus rex when you try to clip his nails. The vet called his assistant over and had her get Rudy in a (supposed) lock down position. A first attempt was made. Then a muzzle was employed. Sounds filled the air which resembled a whale being gutted alive by pitchforks in the deepest darkest corner of the ocean. The assistant kept screaming out "He is SO STRONG!!! I CAN'T HOLD HIM!!" Then Rudy would wrench his flailing body free from her grips and commence flipping all over the room making wild and random death threats through clenched teeth. At this point the vet had managed to clip maybe three nails. I then bravely stepped forward and asked "Do you want me to hold him down?" To which I got a big fat enthusiastic "YES!" So I picked him up and tried to lock him in my arms in the exact way the vet had told me to. I felt sick and dizzy. Since Rudy's claws had not been clipped in so long a few of them were now cut to the quick and were bleeding. The vet began clipping again and Rudy was quickly turning in to a raging lunatic under my grip. This is when I announced very distinctly... "I am going to pass out." I slooped forward and let Rudy's body slide to the floor and I stumbled to a nearby chair where thankfully I managed to regain some sort of stability and did not actually pass out. Very embarrassing. I would have never guessed that I would react to this situation in this particular way. But I did. So the assistant was again forced to hold Rudy to finish the job. Her face was bright purple. I am pretty sure that she too was on the verge of sickness or fainting. I had blood all over the sleeve of my dress and it was all very bizarre and intense. The vet announced that Rudy has a tremendous will. No shit. At this moment I feel like I want to let Rudy's nails grow til the end of time... and never ever clip them again. And I am pretty sure that he feels exactly the same way. He is fine now by the way.... as awful as it all was (I think in the end it was more awful for me than for him) he has shown no signs of discomfort or upset since we set foot out of the office. I talked to myself out loud the whole walk home. Things like..."That was CRAZY. Whew. Whoooooo. RUDY! Holy CRAP." Anyone who saw me (or heard me) must have thought I was a real screw job out walking my dog.

After a good long session of laying flat and letting the terror of that episode retreat from my brain I decided to get to work on Eleanor's scene. I will be using her to shoot pics of vintage clothing and wanted to spruce up the photo shoot area. I framed up a few paper collages I made and set up the area around the fireplace and it all ended up looking pretty darned cute.

Eleanor's dress is a 50's sarong style wiggle dress. It's a real snappy little number. I will be listing it and a bunch of other cute stuff hopefully on Friday.

Tonight we walked down to the plaza diner to get a slice of cherry pie. Who do we think we are? We started the day with crepes and ended with pie. And I am worried that Rudy is getting fat? The diner is the best. I love going there to people watch and the food is really better than you would expect. The place has been there since like 1905 or something too so it's very cute inside.

And they make some mean good pie...

Now I am off to bed to have nightmares about dog toenails. Maybe if I get freaked out enough in my sleep it will burn more of the calories from that pie in the night. Always try to see the bright side....


Desperate Middle Aged Man said...

Bethany, that was a really good post. You know isn't it funny the French drink coffee out of cereal bowls? They dip bread and jam and butter in them too and all the bits come off. Least they did when I did it.

The vet scene was most intense. What the hell was he cutting the dog's nails to the quick? And they were bleeding? Is this person qualified?

Otherwise, as someone who wrestles men to the ground on a daily basis (that's a lie) what are these people who can't hold a dog? Don't they teach them techniques in vet school?

I'm obviously disgusted by this. Keep feeding Rudy cake. It's a recommended dog diet.

What do wild dogs do about their nails? I need to go to the library now to find out.



Bethany said...

Thank God you have cleared up the reason for the cereal bowls full of coffee. While I found it intriguing enough to order I had no idea what the real reason behind it was. Next time we go I will order it again and then drag my waffle through it to seem like I know what I am doing.

I was ready to bring down the ax on that vet and his assistant until I spoke to our dog trainer. I guess because Rudy's nails have not been trimmed in so long it was inevitable that he would have a few bleeders. His nails are black too... so you can't even see where the Hell to cut. Dude... I hear you on the wild dog nails question. I was asking that same thing all night long after the vet. Do we really have to clip his nails? Can't we just staple emery boards to a treadmill and make him run on it 20 minutes a day? I can never ever go through that experience again. Ever. Unless I become a Nazi Dog Hater and suddenly enjoy watching animals suffer. As we don't seem to have a medical history of such things in my family I think it's a safe enough bet that won't happen.

You may also be interested to know that Rudy dined on Wild Salmon today. He is so freaking posh.

StefRobrts said...

Fantastic story about Rudy and the nail clipping! Wow! I must say I've never had a dog react like that. I recommend you start playing with his feet everyday and giving him lots of treats (since he isn't fat yet ;) ) and start getting him used to the idea of having his feet handled being a rewarding experience. Then eventually you start introducing the clippers in the general area. Lots and lots of treats! That's going to take some work. Might want to try a different vet next time too, just so he doesn't remember the fight last time and undo all your work. Wild dogs wear their nails down by running miles and miles everyday. House dogs will always need to be clipped.

Come over to my blog and see the pictures of our new puppy!