Thursday, July 10, 2008

Quick Notes on Grossness

Just a word or two here for ya.... Three weeks from today we hit the road. I am starting to get rid of stuff (or try to anyway) like the sofa and chair (listed it today on craigslist.) Once that is outta here I can start making big ridiculous piles of stuff in the living room to price for the yard sale. The end of the yard sale is the light at the end of the tunnel for me. The END of it... not the actual sale itself which I dread. I dread it the same way you would dread knowing someone planned to file your teeth down to tiny nubs with a dull metal implement. Once the sale is over all that is left is to load up the trailer and peel out. Clear the roadway people... cuz I am ready to peel the Hell out.

Since I had such an overwhelming response of people wanting to read Henry Miller along with me (no one wanted to read Henry Miller along with me) I won't be starting up a book club any time soon. I will tell you that you are missing out on some seriously snarky and bizarre reading by passing up Mr. Miller's fine crafting of words. The dude was nuts. But in a really pleasing way if you are a sarcastic jerk like me. He and I would have gotten along quite well I think.

What else can I tell you? I had tamales with green chile for breakfast today. Rudy and I walked to the rich lady dog boutique to buy him copious amounts of canned dog food with names like "Cowboy Cutlet" and "Brauts and Tots." Because Rudy is a bitchy Diva. We visited with our friend Casey at his coffee shop for awhile (highlight of the day, it was nice to see you Casey) and then I went to the post office. I know I am blowing your minds here with all this riveting information. Now Billy and I are drinking decaf coffee and getting ready to watch a movie on the living room wall. Rudy is crabby and did not eat his "Pork Tenderloin" dinner. It's pretty boring up in here... this is my point. We need to go, go, go. No offense to the good people of Santa Fe... I am just really ready to get a move on. All I want to do here now is wander through the city grazing on the expensive foods they have to offer. Handmade chocolates here... pastry there... gelato on that corner... Haagen Dazs on the other. It's gross. Or maybe to put it more accurately.... I am gross. Today I ate dark chocolate and violet truffles from The Kakawa Chocolate House. Go ahead and check out their website. They are not foolin' around. I am like a crack junkie when it comes to stuff like this which is why we must vacate the city and go hide in the burning forests of California ASAP.

OK... I am rambling on about nonsense. I just had the guilt of not posting gnawing away at me so this is what you get. Until next time...


Bernadette said...

Hey, want to hear a weird story?
One time I was out with my friend Susan and we ran into her friend Leith's fiance who was a sailor from So. Africa. He was a druggie and oh how far Leith had fallen. She had real substance abuse issues and had lost her business, her family and all her shit and now she was engaged to a So. African dude who I met at this bar on Nantucket.

He had sawed off teeth. Thats what I'm getting at. He had been to a dentist and had gotten his teeth sawed off before he got the crowns but then a storm came. His boat sank. His engin was toast and he spent whatever money he had to get a new engine or the old one fixed.

So...he blew off the crowns and just kinda went around with sawed off teeth. Oh did I mention he did a lot of drugs too? Hence the ability to walk around Nantucket with sawed off teeth.

LOL and I'm not kidding here.

Bethany said...

Blog readers... allow me to introduce you all to my very dear friend Bernadette. The post above should give you some indication as to why she is so very important to me.

Good stuff sister, thanks for sharing.

Momo said...

I love Bernadette.
She always brings it.
I love you Bernadette