Friday, July 18, 2008

The Count Down

I was awakened this morning by receiving a jack rabbit kick to the guts. What a gentle and glorious way to begin my day. Thank you Rudy. Most mornings Rudy and I manage a very symbiotic relationship of curling up together and sleeping for another hour or so after Billy has gotten up. Rudy and I have to stay in bed as late as possible in the morning because the early morning sun light burns our retinas and makes our skin sizzle and char. But this morning we experienced technical difficulties resulting in me being kicked in the guts. So I was forced to get up and brave the early light. And here I am now nursing my coffee and weighing in the possibilities for this day.

News updates.... 1. I spoke to a ranger out at Big Sur Station this past week and we are still on schedule with no changes or problems for our arrival at Pfieffer Big Sur in the end of September. So that was great news. 2. I got my hair cut. Not by the guy in the post below though... I switched. Some little birds told me that I should go elsewhere so I did. I went to a guy named Antonio. He did a pretty good job... my only complaint is that he cut about 8 inches off my length when I really only wanted about 6 cut off. So my hair is a bit shorter than I like but hey, it will grow back. Seeing as how I plan to stay hidden in the woods for the next 22 years of my life I will probably have grown a beard by the time I emerge. My big idea is to come out looking like Rumplestilskin. For those of you unfamiliar, here....

I think I can do it. I just need to find a cobbler who can make me a pair of those pointy toe shoes.

Our yard sale is a week from tomorrow. What have I done to prepare? I have talked about it a lot. That's it. I have walked around the house and repeatedly said "I have to get to work on this." and "We have to get rid of all this shit." And I have harbored fantasies of sneaking off in the night and never ever even having the yard sale. This whole living in a real live house with real live furniture thing is totally over rated people. I am starting to believe more and more that those Japanese guys who sleep in a ventilated tube like a bunch of bee larvae are on to something.

The Airstream is of course a bit larger than that but once parked in the woods it achieves much the same effect. Perfect for my Rumplestilskin incubation period. Anyway... back to the yard sale. I am going to run it from 10 to 4 next Saturday. Anyone who appears in my yard before the clock strikes TEN will be drawn and quartered and fed to coyotes. Anyone who gets snarky with me will be tied to the fence post and force fed styrofoam peanuts soaked in vinegar. Yes. That's right. My yard sale is dangerous and mean. So don't come unless you are prepared to fight to the death over whittling down the price on some stupid knick nack I have posted a $1 sticker on.

OK. Time to get to work. On something. Have a smashing weekend people!

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